With the Australian Census now pretty much declared an international embarrassment, a farce, a fiasco and an exercise in unwarranted bravado, the larrikin in me couldn’t help itself.

On Tuesday morning the ABS chief blamed the system failure on “an attack”. On Tuesday afternoon we were advised by the minister responsible that it “wasn’t an attack”. On Thursday morning Malcolm Turnbull PM was again describing it as “an attack” and saying it was inevitable.

The graphic-artist-cum-cartoonist-cum-stirrer in me just had to make a hashtag cloud to sum up my view of the situation.

Maybe they’ll have it up and running before the next Census is due in five years.